oh how life can change in a day

Ohhh where to start.... well i pulled out of the sale of the house without telling laura(my wife) so then when she finds out she comes into work and confronts me. Quite a scene and very embarrising, anyway basically i did it because i dont want to go to canada and want to stay here so now she is going to go back without me.
Oh how life can change in a day and its never going to be the same, its been so long since ive posted here but theres simply just been too much going on. Basically the marriage has been on the rocks for the last year and ive only been married a year. So it came to a head when i decided i couldnt go through with the sale of the house and pulled out at the last minute. Needless to say she wasnt happy and went through the roof and has since left for home in canada as planned but without me.
She left on thursday morning and here iam friday night sitting getting pissed as usual !!!!!
theres too much to tell on here but basically shes has given me doubts about us and to sell your home and move country when you have doubts isnt on. Its too much of a risk on something that your not sure about but she cant seem to see that. So she has made me an offer which allmost elays my fears but not quite and also doesnt stop the main factor in this, which is that i dont want to move from here. So here iam wondering what to do, what shall it be who knows?
You see if i go and it doesnt work out i come back here finacially worse off than iam now,and iam worse of now than when i first met her because we have seperated. So if icome back i probably wont be able to afford to keep the house that i still now own, basically i suppose iam chancing my house on this working out.
So there it is pretty much top and bottom of it apart from the exact reasons why i dont want to go which would take to long to type. So some more drink and passing out then wondering what i will do tomorow, will have to consult with some friends then make my mind up. Untill then id better go, dont know how long it will be before i post in this again.




P.S. sometimes i feel like my life reads like a bad movie something which is allmost surreal.